INTJs are known as the jerks of Meyers Briggs personality types. We’re stereotyped as being arrogant, cold, unfeeling, self-absorbed, disrespectful, and calculating masterminds, and while there is a grain of truth to every myth, people have just run away with this. I don’t claim to be innocent of all these, but even for a non-stereotype, human INTJ, I’m soft. Here’s why…
1. I care about individuals
Most INTJs care about people, but not always people. I only know one other INTJ outside the internet, and he cares about some people, but I’ve only seen him in one setting. However, do not confuse this with warm. I highly doubt either of us have ever been called warm and friendly. I care for my family and a few friends, individuals, and humanity, but not people. To me, ‘people’ is everything greedy, panicky, and stupid. I prefer animals —always have— and don’t think I’ll stop any time soon.
2. I try to avoid upsetting people
I am not saying INTJs try to offend anyone, but they don’t seem to try very hard to avoid it. Unfortunately, I can sometimes do this, but it bothers me (usually) so I try to filter everything I say —not always successful. When I was younger, people would get upset with me (mostly my sarcasm) and I had to apologize. I still don’t sugarcoat, but I try to say it a little more gently.
3. I am (mostly) in touch with my emotions
INTJs have strong emotions, which absolutely defies the stereotyping, but they’re often scared of them because emotions are strong and illogical. I usually know what I’m feeling, but I don’t always know the right words or how to express them. I don’t normally react externally, but they’re definitely there. I don’t like crying or even tearing up in public and haven’t ever heard of one of us that does (that stereotype is pretty close to the truth).
4. I don’t spend all my time plotting
This is a stereotype, but for some reason, partially true (at least kept up in appearance). I don’t want to rule or control anyone, I’d much rather sit on my couch, not have to talk to anyone, and read or watch Netflix. If someone asks me to lead something, I can and do a good job, but I want to get out of power or control, even if it’s tiny, as soon as I feel it’s safe to (if I put in the work, I’m not going to leave it in just anyone’s hands).
5. I don’t love school
Don’t get me wrong, I love learning, exploring, and feeling my brain grow, but school bores me and there are plenty of other things I’d rather be doing (I do love science).
6. I’m not super sarcastic
I understand sarcasm and my humor/all my jokes are sarcastic, but I myself am not very. I’ve found that some people (even some close to me) are hurt by it, so I’m cautious about who I’m around when I do use it.
7. I’m not a genius
While I feel like the smartest person in the room sometimes (not always accurately), I am in no way a genius. I know a ridiculous amount of random facts, and I’m good at science, but I am not a genius. The other INTJ I mentioned earlier could very well be a genius (we don’t know though since we don’t know if he’s been tested) and keeps me humble (seriously, he’s younger than me and loves talking physics or dimensional theories).
8. I don’t hate people
This is similar to #1, but it’s different. I don’t know of any INTJs who actually hate everyone. For me, people fit into three categories: like, indifferent, and dislike.
People I like are my family, friends, and some other people like my youth leaders and dance teachers. I will go out of my way to help the people I like and try to make sure things go their way as much as possible.
The ones I’m indifferent towards are people who I just meet throughout the week or I’m not attached to that I don’t dislike —cashiers, some people at youth group, drivers, etc.
The people I dislike are ones who have done something to me, but mostly someone I care about (I rarely dislike someone without a reason). Normally if they bully, pick on people, are annoying –not always bad people, or are arrogant and disrespectful.
The indifferent category is by far the biggest.
If you’re not sure what you MBTI is and you want to find out, click here. (Please take it with a grain of salt, since there is a spectrum and no one fits perfectly, it is very hard to tell enough in 10 minutes to get a feel for an entire, complex person).
If you want to know more about this and fictional characters, check out this blog.
There is an amazing INTJ book blogger named Cait (she’s awesome and funny). Here’s her site.